Do you ever wonder why often you can’t have the things you want most? Perhaps if you got them in this life, they would distract you from Him. Perhaps He withholds some things that you love in this life to keep your heart from being distracted…and then gives those things to you in the next. Forever.
-Yasmin Mogahed
Sometimes, I'm just tired of giving out too much.

Aladdin and Jasmine.

New version of Aladdin and Jasmine.
Aladdin:Would you like to take a ride on my magic carpet?
Aladdin:Listen habibti, I can take you to a whole new world ;-)
Jasmine:Have you talked to my mahram yet?
Aladdin:Well no... but...
Jasmine:So you think you can just fly up here and I'll hop on your "magic carpet" and ride to a "whole new world" with you??
Aladdin:Well that was the plan but...
Jasmine:Brotha please, go talk to him about my dowry and when there's a ring on it I'll fly with you anywhere. Until then, go see if Snow White is free. She lives with 7 men, I'm sure she'd like to go to a whole new world with you.

One step at a time.

I want to trust people more, and I did. I want to love people more, and I did. I want to care for people more, and I did. I want to forgive and forget people's bad deeds, and I did. I want to do every single thing that will make me happier and more grateful than I am now. InshaAllah. One step at a time. :)

School days. Back then.

Playback a few videos that remind me of my school days back then. Tears falling. Oh I've been missing those moments so much. How sometimes, we don't want to grow up to face the future, how sometimes, we were so eagerly want to grow up to skip away from the problems. Man, I miss the fights, I miss the chaos, I miss the laugh, I miss the happiness, I miss everything that my school days brought me into. To be honest, what I am today, is build from what I were before. It feels so good seeing your friends, long lost friends though they appeared only in those photos and videos. I miss the yelling from the teachers, the tantrum over the morning roll call. Oh. 5 years since I've left my school yet its memories smeared everywhere. We were that students, that MRSM's students that people always talk so loud about. We were that naughty students, we were that hardworking mental breakdown students, but that is what make we as we are today. Bet over my finger, you will always, and always cherish the school days moments forever. More or less, the memories will always buried in our heart.

Not tonight.

So, cheat me over and over again. Toy me like I am no human. It is so sickening how I am able to forgive you despite of everything that you've done. All those terrible things. It is totally sickening. No, it is not okay to play with my heart, it is not okay to play with anyone's heart. I'm sorry but you got no privileges to do that. Not in million years. I hate you for making me this fragile. I hate you for breaking my heart. Just because. I hate you.