People.
I'm quite astonished of how snobbish people could be. I mean, saya tahu awak punya ilmu lebih dari saya, ye awak dah pegi menunaikan rukun islam yang terakhir, ye awak pakai pakaian yang menutup aurat dengan sempurna. Tapi tu tak bermaksud awak punya hak untuk menghakimi saya luar dan dalam. We are just human beings. You ARE human being too. Saya tahu ilmu saya kurang, ape memang wajar awak buat saya seolah olah saya orang yang paling teruk di dunia ni? Macam saya taktahu langsung hukum hakam agama ni? Awak boleh kan nasihat saya, tegur, perbaiki saya dengan cara yang berhemah. Junjungan kita S.A.W pon takpernah berdakwah dengan cara yang kasar, apa lagi awak? Saya cuba mendalami ilmu, baik dunia ataupon akhirat. Saya cuba untuk menjadi manusia yang lebih baik, tapi kalau manusia lain berperangai macam awak, itu bukan ke seolah-olah seperti menghalang niat suci saya itu? Muka saya, muka awak, muka sesiapa pon, tade papan tanda yang bagitau yang kita ni ahli syurga ke ahli neraka ke? Awak, Tuhan tu Maha Kaya, Maha Mengasihani, Maha Pengampun. Awak takberhak meletakkan saya dimana mana posisi yang awak fikir saya layak. Itu bukan tugas awak. Saya bukan seorang yang penyabar, tetapi selagi saya boleh kawal diri saya, inshaAllah, nothing bad akan jadi. I am a very straightforward person, please, jangan buat perkara yang boleh menggalakkan lagi mulut saya cakap bukan bukan directly to you. Saya hormat awak, up until this moment, jadi apa salahnya kalau awak hormat saya jugak? Please, don't easily judge.
Dramas.
You promise me that you'll be there for me. But,
I can't find you now. When things are starting to be just fine, when I've
started to be one full of sunshine, you datang buat ribut pulak. I'm seriously
dah out of idea how to deal with you. You're my strongest, yet my own
weaknesses, what shall I do. What shall I do. Everyone is leaving me. And then,
you found me. Throwing some sweet talks, some promises which you yourself can't
keep it. Aaah you are still leaving me. The one that I thought would be The
One, the one that I thought would sang me a lullaby during my down, (and I
don't even have that thought of having down period when I'm with you), the one
that I have no idea will ever hurt me like this. Ahhh I'm asking too much,
didn't I? I'm busy 24/7, so are you, why are you bringing up that issue I pon
taktahu. I've told you, do not put your hopes too high for me, but you insisted
me that you don't even care. Seriously, who are you kidding now? I'm tired of
having sooo much dramas, sooo much actors actresses in my life. Stop being like
one! I'm too fragile to give what I've already have in pieces. I thought you were different. I really do. Saying
that I've broke you heart wasn't true because the fact is, you broke mine first.
:I
Not enough.
It is so hard to coax our heart. To be patient and more
patient. Despite of all what happened, I might be the best pretender; pretend
to be alright, pretend to be strong. Those who didn’t witness my struggles can
simply judge, I really don’t mind. They really thought that they are the one
who have those rights, I think. Though it’s quite hurtful to bear, but its
okay, because by hook or by crook, I have to face that, right? Though I’m
crying every night, though I’m hurt inside, I can stand up and say that I’m
alright. Because I’m that kind of person. Because I know He is always with me,
never leave me alone.
It is almost the end of Ramadhan. How are we treating Ramadhan this year? As for me, I hope all of the changes will remain unchanged, and I will remain istiqamah with what I've decided to do. The decision, the situation that I'm in, the action that I've took, I hope they are all one pile of good things. InshaAllah, all the upside downs will turned out to be alright soon, yea? Good day everyone. And, will this be our last Ramadhan? And have we worked as much as it takes if it is so? :)
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