Dear self,

I wish you would feel good about yourself without having to obtain the attraction from those guys who gawk at you all day. I wish you would feel good about yourself without having to make other girls jealous of your body. I wish you would love the skin you were in, without taking your clothes off. I wish getting compliments from others wasn’t a way for you to feel better. I wish you would look in the mirror every day and realize that Allah swt has given you an honour which you don’t cherish at all, the honour of being a Muslim. I wish you would see that when Allah Azzawajal gives you an honour, it stands higher than any complement, honour or stare you can get from any human being. I wish you would see that you don’t need to shed your modesty to gain respect from others. I wish you would realize that respect in the eyes of Allah is greater than anyone else’s respect. I wish you would have the courage to not care what people think when it only matters what Allah thinks. I wish you would stop this need to feed your soul with their acceptance of you. I wish you would love you for you, so you wouldn’t need anyone else to love you.

I wish you would see that, that girl in the hallway, in her hijab lowering her gaze feels sorry for you because of how you perceive yourself even though you feel sorry for her on how others perceive her.

And I wish you will remain strong for now, and forever.